Mommy Wars- Can’t We All Just Get Along!

I’ve read and heard a lot about the “Mommy Wars” going on these days. Mom shaming seems to be everywhere! I know some level of judgment is natural. We all feel that what we are doing what’s right for us, so sometimes, we may feel that our choices are the right choices. But every mother, father, child, family; well they are all different. So really, what’s with all this mommy drama!

high school drama

Here’s a great example!!!

mom enough nursing

So you’re nursing your kid till they are in preschool, kindergarten, a teen, whatever it may be! Well, good for you. People either love or hate this it seems. Breastfeeding has become a really hot topic these days. I’m a big believer in breastfeeding; I nursed my kids till they were 4 months, 8 months and 13 months; but some people just can’t! It just doesn’t work for them for a variety of reasons, or medically they can’t. Whatever the reason you are not a “better” mom because you nursed (regardless of how long). You are just a mom who nursed! And nursing them longer than the average person, well I do commend you for that. I was sad, but ready to be done at 13 months with Miss T. And for me I felt having them drink independently at the age of one was a good thing. But that is what I think is best for my family.

fitness shamer mom

And here’s another example….Wow, you look great! Way to go! I might have found your story motivational had you said, “You can do it,” “Here’s what I did!” But no, you had to use the condescending angle. This really pisses me off as an active mom who tries hard but will probably never have a body like that. And honestly, it’s not an “excuse.” My body is different than yours AND I enjoy some sweets and wine on a regular basis, which can be a bit counterproductive, LOL!

sahm-vs-working-mom

The SAHM vs working mom battle! This one is so complicated to me because I’ve been on both sides. I went back to work full time after I had my first child for almost two years. I left my job after my second child was born, but worked part time until 6 months ago (for 3 years) to make ends meet. It wasn’t an easy decision to stay home. I had a good job making good money. We went from financially stable to pinching pennies and we are just starting to see the light! But that was a decision my husband and I made for our family. And no, I don’t think I’m any better of a mom than a working mom. I feel for the working moms who want to be home but they can’t. I respect and appreciate the working moms who want to work and are kicking ass in the work force. And I feel for the stay at home moms who are making sacrifices to stay home. None of these options are easy!

So what’s our problem?!?! Why are we all trying to say we are “doing right,” instead of saying “way to go?” I mean regardless of what decisions you make from feeding, to working, fitness and more; being a parent is freaking HARD! I don’t know all the nuances of your family and your situation to know what is best for you. I only know that I am trying my best to be the best mother, wife and person I can be. I don’t think I am right, I just know that I am trying my best for me and my family!

So to all of you moms (and dads) out there, I want to change the tone and say, Keep up the good work! And way to go!!

Until next time….. Thea

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10 thoughts on “Mommy Wars- Can’t We All Just Get Along!

  1. My post today is all about how judgmental people are today. My first example was the mommy wars. It was also the inspiration for my post as a high school friend of mine slammed working moms on her Facebook the other day. Seriously, why can’t we stop this? I also was both the SAHM and working mom.

    • It’s so true! People are very judgmental these days! It’s sad…. I’m sorry that your friend was critical of working moms! I just don’t get that. I think if people are doing what they need to be their best selves, then that will be best for them and their family.
      Loving your posts! We are definitely like minded!

  2. Great article. Like you said, it’s natural to sometimes look at other parents’ choices and judge them (I know I’ve been guilty of this), but hopefully we have the maturity to keep it to ourselves.

    Parenting is so hard as is, why make it worse by putting others down, especially when more than likely the person judging does not have the full picture.

    We should be supporting each other even if all that means is keeping our opinions to ourselves every once in awhile. 🙂

    • I totally agree Marianne! Even if we don’t agree with someones choices why do so many people feel it’s ok to tell someone they think they are wrong. It drives me nuts!!

  3. I couldn’t have agreed more! We should all be respectful to other’s decisions. It’s okay to do things differently and to have an opinion, but it should never be delivered in a way where we’re bashing and putting each other down. You bought up great subtopics. Those are the main topics I tend to see mommies discussing/arguing about a lot lately.

  4. Simple fact- parenting is HARD. And being a mom -whether working and a SAHM- requires so much juggling and effort. The best feeling as a mom is having a fellow mom’s support & encouragement. I’ll never understand why some moms feel the need to knock other moms down, yet unfortunately, I see it all the time. :/

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